Happy Halloween Lauren!

We Love you

Dear Lauren,
It's been a while since I've been home and so I haven't had the chance to visit you but my love for you is just as strong as the first day we were blessed to have you in this world. My heart hurts when I read blogs about you because I miss you so much. Memories of Your shy attitude and your unconditional love for everyone fills my head as I look at pictures of you, but so do tears in my eyes and pain in my heart. I remember your last day here with me and the family and how painful it was to hug you one last time in that hospital bed and u didn't hug me back. Even though I'm glad you are no longer in pain, it makes me sad to know I won't be able to see your beautiful face for a period of time. Through Vince, Constance, and Misi I see a little bit of you in all of them and it brings joy to me knowing they are ok. You give me strength and joy and a reason to try harder to make it back to heaven. Please continue to run out on that field with me every Saturday. I love you more than words could ever explain.
Your uncle and big brother, Fatu.

Sent from my iPhone

Dear Lauren,

we had another angel that made her way back to heaven. Her name is Cindy Ki'hevani Fangupo. When you see her will you tell her that we love her? Take good care of her Ren.

Ofa atu,
Auntie Kiki

Dear Lauren,

guess what? Stennie and Mei Mei performed last night for the first time.

Aren't they cute?! I wasn't able to be there so Neo recorded this. I couldn't stop smiling when I watched it. Look at Mei going up and down. Haha :D
It also makes me a little sad, because I see your sisters, but we're missing 1 of our 3 Little Birds. I know that you would be happy to see them dance though. We would probably be sitting in the audience together... then we would tease Stennie after the show :)

I hope you're doing good Ren.

I'm sure you are.

Love and miss you,
-Auntie Kiki

Dear Lauren,

Just winding down from work. I spoke to a customer who was calling in about her daughter's phone. Guess what her name was, yep, Lauren. The funny thing is she pronounced it the same way I do. I asked her if her daughter's name was Lauren, and she said yes. I've never, ever heard anyone say it like me. I told her I love that name, she probably thought I was weird. Didn't tell her why, because I didn't want to cry. Its been really hard for me not having you here. Every day is a struggle, so many things remind me of you. The littlest things trigger so many memories, its hard because you've always been such a simple girl to please. You were always so grateful with whatever I gave you. And I appreciated it. I love you soooo much! I don't know if you knew that, I hope you did and still do. I miss our talks together when you came over. I miss doing your toe nails, and you helping me with dinner. I MISS YOU!! I know your in a better place. No more pain, no more struggling. Thank you for letting me be apart of your life. Thank you for all the wonderful memories. Thank you for all the lessons you've taught me. I am so happy and honored to have been one of your Aunties. My life has been so blessed because of you. I love you, Lauren!

Love Always and Forever,
Aunty Lini

Dear Lauren,

Do you ever hear me calling?
Cause every night
I'm talking to the moon
Still trying to get to you
In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too

L♥ve,
Auntie Kiki

Dear Lauren,

Lots has happened since the last time I wrote.... I don't know if I ever got to tell you that you were going to participate in your 6th grade promotion. I know you really wanted to be apart of that special occasion. The night before the big day, I decided that I would go but woke up the next morning, and it was just too painful. A week later your BFF, sweet Aloma got the privilege of promoting from Elementary school to Jr high. I wasn't sure how I would feel about going, but I knew you wouldn't be happy if I didn't. I cried a lot the night before. I cried for you, me, your dad, your aunts and uncles, and your grandparents.... You almost made it, my love! How I would've given anything to see you with your classmates again.

It's Fathers day and also our wedding anniversary. I woke up early to make your dad breakfast, but first decided to write and tell you how much we miss and love you! Today should be double filled with love, and it is, but things just aren't the same. Honestly Ren, I've been so distraught over not being able to see your face every day. I don't know why, but everyday life seems just a little harder and harder for me these days. I miss you oh so much!!!!! I hope you continue to know that we love you with all our hearts and we can't wait till we are together again... One sweet day! LOVE you forever and ever, Princess!

Mama

Dear Lauren,

Been thinking a lot about you. It's hard to balance out these emotions every time I think about your pretty face. I'm happy you're taken care of and that you're no longer in pain, but I miss you so much Ren. I guess that's the thing about being human. We're not very patient. I think about you all the time. There's so many memories of you that warm my heart. The other day I remembered a trip I took out to Salt Lake. We were sitting around doing a whole lot of nothing and your Mama decided that we should get some jumpers. So we got up, got some jumpers, and headed to the park. Whenever I come out to Salt Lake, and we get together as a family, I find myself sitting back and just observing. It makes me so happy just to see every one's smiles. I've blogged about how rich our family is with the love that we share. I remember that day at the park, just watching the smiles and excitement that all the kids had in their faces. I loved it. We watched for a little, then Fatu decided that we should break up into teams and race on the obstacle course. We tried to pair everyone up with people who were of equal physical talent. I got paired with you. Not gonna lie Ren, I was a little offended cause we all know you have 2 left feet :) To my surprise you beat me on the first round. I couldn't believe it and as I waited my turn for round 2 I was sure that I would come out victorious. My adrenaline was pumping and I was ready. Round 2 came, and you beat me again. Sheesh! We had to wrap up early cause it started to rain, but we had so much fun. I'll never forget that Ren, and I'm sure when I see you again, you will remind me that auntie lost to her niece.

I cannot explain how grateful I am to have these memories of you. I feel blessed beyond words to have gotten time granted in this life to spend with you. Thank you for loving me Ren. Thank you for such sweet memories.
Love you always,
Auntie Kiki

Dear Lauren,

Just got back from the trail and everyone was still asleep... I woke up your dad and he immediately starts to go on about his dream. He dreamt he was at the store and you were there. You walked beside him. His voice started to quiver as he told me how in the dream you were annoyed because he was hugging you so tight.... That used to happen all the time remember? I can still see the look on your face and the way your voice sounded as you tried to push him away because he would not let up on the hugs and kisses :) I loved those moments you had together. He said he didn't want to wake up.... As I sat there crying and listening to him talk about how beautiful you looked in the dream, I couldn't help but wonder if you truly understood your dads love for you. How no matter the situation, he was willing to go through anything or work countless hours to make sure you were taken care of. How privileged are we to have had the opportunity to be your parents. We are so grateful to have loved, cared, talked, kissed, and hug you. You are forever in our hearts. I miss you, and I will love you for eternity!

Mama

Dear Lauren,

I know it's been a little while.... It's been hard to say the least. Today marks 2 weeks. It feels like forever! I've been trying to keep busy lately, trying to get my mind off things.... I just keep telling myself that you're away for a little while, but i'll see you again. I know this statement is true. It gives me joy!

I took Stennie to the Dr's office the other day and the Dr asked how you were doing. I looked at him and said "Oh, you don't know..." and tears started to roll down my face. Stennie didn't cry at all, instead she hugged me, patted my leg and asked if I was okay. There are no amount of words that can describe how much I miss you. You are so special! You've touched not only mine, but so many others lives in your short time here with us. A new friend was so touched by your sweet spirit that they wanted to do something special for us. We got to see Bruno Mars. I know you would've loved it, and yes he is just as good live! He sang your song at the very end. I hoped he would. It meant so much to me.

I wonder if we'll ever meet again....

I hope we do..... Somewhere in Brooklyn

I love and miss you always!

Mama

Dear Lauren,
so many songs trigger memories of you. I can't believe how in love I am with Bruno Mars. It doesn't matter what he's singing about. His voice alone reminds me so much of you. I was listening to his station on Pandora today and I heard this song

It evoked an emotion in me. I'm not quite sure how to explain what I felt. I don't think it was hapiness, but maybe a feeling of comfort. I know you're looking down on us Ren.

Mei Mei put these stickers together for you.

I hope you like it. We miss you so much.
Love you always,
-Auntie Kiki, Auntie Neo, Leo, Mei Mei, Nici, Siope & Mote Goose

Dear Lauren,

I miss and love you so much!!! I can't quite explain the way I feel... I am happy to know you're in a much better place, but the separation is almost unbearable. I'm so lost without you. I miss going for drives and hearing you sing in the car. You have such an awesome voice! I remember taking the long way home just to hear your little scratchy voice sing one more song. Oh how I'd give anything to hear you sing for me again... Even if it's in my dreams. Will you visit me in my dreams? I hope so... Love, love, love you!!!!

Mama

Dear Lauren,
They say it gets easier with each passing day, but at this point It's so hard to believe in that statement. I know you're in a far better place, but Ren, as selfish as it sounds, I need you! I can't stop thinkin about you and the way things were just a few days ago. Remember the day you finally got to swim when we were in Florida? I couldn't stop staring at you and was in awe at the sheer delight on your face as you dunked your head under the water.That memory will fill my heart with joy forever!

Today while Stennie and I were running around she said "Mama, I wish I was a ghost whisperer".... She misses you so much. I can tell that she's trying really hard to make you happy by helping me out more then ever. I know she knows how much you care about her, as do I, my sweet girl. Miss and love you, dearly.

Mama

Dear Lauren,

Do you know how much I love you? Does it ever get easier? I miss you!!! I still feel you when I see your ice cream in the freezer, your shoes in the closet, your luggage from Florida overflowing with your cute little sun dresses, your mickey ears, your piles and piles of treasures yet to be open that you acquired while on your shopping spree to Toys R Us with your dad, your initial necklace from Auntie Kae'a, your bracelets being worn by your dad and Stennie, my black pearl necklace that you loved so much, any shade of purple, or hearing Bruno Mars. I long to hold your hand, kiss your face, brush your hair, and hear your voice.... Just one more time. I hope that after all is said and done, you know that I will love you forever and ever, my sweet princess!

Mama

Dear Lauren,

This morning as scheduled, I woke up to give you meds. I found that the nightmare I had last night was not a dream. I didn't know what to do with myself as I sat in your room looking at your stuffed animals, your blankets, your Little Mermaid snow globe, and your clothes. As I touched some of your belongings with tears in my eyes and pain in my heart I decided that a walk would do me some good. When I got to the trail, I was surprised to see that there was not a single person there. I wonder if you knew that I needed some alone time to reflect and gather myself together and that you had something to do with that. I felt peace as I walked with mellow music going through the headphones. If there was ever a moment I wanted to start crying, a happy memory of you would fill my mind and put a smile on my face. I know that in actuality, you were there with me. The last song to play while on my walk was Selena's "Dreaming Of You"....

Late at night when all the world is sleeping

I stay up and think of you

And I wish on a star

That somewhere you are thinking of me too

Thanks for continuing to take care of me, my love!

Mama

Dear Lauren,
I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about you. Your pretty face. Your shy stance. Your thick black hair. Your beautiful eyes. You. I miss your hugs Rennie. I miss your smile. I miss your voice. I miss you. I know you miss us too, but I know you're happy. I find peace in that. We're going to be ok Rennie. I promise. We'll all help your Mama, Teti and your brothers and sister. You just watch down on us and everything will be ok. Thank you for waiting until we got here. Your strength and bravery has always amazed me. I love you Rennie. I know that you know that. I love you ALWAYS.

-Auntie Kiki

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Dear Lauren,
I really wish I could've been in Utah yesterday to hang out with you at McDonald's. I want to start off by saying that your school ROCKS!!! Your principal and the rest of the Taylorsville Tigers are awesome! As soon as I woke up yesterday I started to see a lot of people spreading the word about your McDonald's fundraiser. And as the day progressed the buzz grew louder and louder. Our family received text messages, phone calls, tweets, and facebook updates about how people were so excited to show their support for you. I hope you were able to connect some of the faces to the names of people who have been writing you. You are LOVED Lauren! Keep fighting Rennie and know that all these people are rooting you on. Neo sent me some pics that she took from McDonald's last night...
Your community rocks, your family & friends rock, and you rock!!
Love you!

-Auntie Kiki

Dear Lauren,
we made it back to Vegas. You were sleeping when we came by to say goodbye. Although I miss you all, I can say that I'm happy to be back where the sun is shining :) This past week was definitely memorable for me. Yesterday was most rewarding. I'm so glad we did an Easter egg hunt for our little family. I can't tell you how ecstatic I was to watch you gather your eggs. Your strength has increased so much since I seen you last week. I know it's probably annoying that we monitor your every move, but we just can't help it Ren. Each new thing that you do is a small miracle and we can't help but marvel at you when you complete these milestones. It made me so happy just to see you out of your bed. I loved watching you open your eggs to search for prizes. I got a little nervous when I went in the house and seen your bed empty. But was instantly filled with joy when I seen you sitting up on the couch next to your Teti. Ren - you are simply amazing. Sometimes when I watch you I feel guilty and a little ashamed that I can walk and talk with such ease. I sit and watch you and wish that I could somehow transfer my health and energy to your body. You are my little hero Rennie. I'm grateful that I was able to spend this week with you. I hope you continue to get stronger each day. I hope your Mama reads this to you and maybe if you're feeling well enough you can write me back.
Love you Rennie,

-Auntie Kiki

Dearest Reni,

I miss your smiling face! There isn't a day that passes you don't cross my mind, my prayers, my heart. Uluaki, Samiu and I have been going to the park trying to enjoy what we have been getting of "spring" days. It reminds me of this time last year when we were playing in school yards and parks while your daddy and uncle Mo had football games and/or practices. You are always so helpful... from helping Uluaki onto a swing, to sliding down slides with my little Samiu, you have a way with little ones. You welcome my boys with open arms, loves, and kisses no matter how difficult their little attitudes can be. I love and appreciate you for that. My boys sure do miss you and your siblings (Vincent, Steni, and lil' Misi) and I know it has been a while since we have seen you all. The last time I spoke with you was the night we went for a little ride, do you remember? You and I got a chance to have some one on one girl talk. So fun and I cherish it. Our conversation has left its mark in my heart forever. Your sweet smile, your quiet giggle, and the fight you have makes you unique, extraordinary, one of a kind. And you are all of those things, Reni. You are so special!!

Hearing and knowing how strong you are is so inspiring. I pray that as you read this it will give you a little more inspiration, a little something to help continue to fight.

A favorite song I sing whenever life gets rough is titled "No Ways Tired" and the chorus or the main part of the song sings...

I don't feel no ways tired

I've come to far from where I've started from

Nobody told me that the road would be easy

I don't believe He's brought me this far to leave me

Ren, you may be too young to fully understand the meaning of the words now, but I pray they meditate in your heart. When you're older, I pray you'll look back, reflect on the words, and share a testimony that "life may get a little rocky, it will have its ups and downs, but never give up. God has brought you this far and if He brought you this far why would He leave when you need Him most?"

Joy comes in the morning, my dear, and I know it's just around the bend. Reni, you're so strong and you keep finding the fight you need, the fight your parents pray for, the fight your family yearns for. Continue to be strong. Continue to share your sweet smile. Continue inspire many. Keep your chin up, sweetie! Keep fighting! Pray Often! You have lots of people praying for you and waiting for you to prove the doctors wrong once again. Miracles happen each and every day and you are one of them! I love you, sweet Reni girl!

XOXOXO

~Auntie Halli, 'Lucky', and 'Carter'

Dear Lauren,

Today as I looked through old photos, I am drawn to your baptism pictures. I can still remember that day clearly. It was a day I shared with you and your mama, and got to know you a little better. Seeing you grow, I have always admired what a bright little girl you are. I also admired your gentle ways and your sweet spirit. It is true what they say that eyes are the window to the soul. That day we tried to help you get past your shyness. I tried to act goofy and say silly things to make you comfortable. Do you remember? You would do your cute little laugh and cover your mouth, you were so shy. You probably thought I was crazy huh haha. But when I printed up those pictures, I did not see a shy girl. Rather, I saw a bold, silent confidence.

Through everything you have been through I am always reminded of that. I don't know if you know just how wonderful you are! You have inspired so many and touched the hearts of many more. And at the age of 12 you are such an inspiration to so many! Especially mine. And although you may seem shy, you are the strongest girl I know. I always tell your mama, Lauren is strong! And you proved that you are. I want you to know that I love you and think of you everyday. You stay in my prayers and in my heart. I know your mama is taking great care of you. And I know that you are pushing your hardest to get better. I hope that you feel better day by day and that sometime soon we'll be able to see that beautiful sweet smile of yours. I love you Rennie!

~Aunty Verlynn

Dear Lauren....

I don't know if you remember me or not, I'm Makai's mom. I remember sitting on the sidelines of the soccer games a few years ago when Makai, Mote and Constence were all on the same team. Do you remember that? We all kept laughing at Makai and Constence because they kept kicking the ball the wrong way....only Mote knew how to play! haha I came to the hospital to visit you a couple times. You are truly an amazing young lady. I just wanted to write you a little note to thank you. Thank you for strengthening my testimony. You've proved to yourself, your family and the world how much you want to live and you've shown us that miracles can happen with faith and prayer! I know you don't really know me that well, but I think of you constantly. You are very blessed to have a family that loves and supports you so much, and friends and even strangers who think about and pray for you every single day. You and your family are in our prayers every day. I just want you to know that we love you and thank you! Keep fighting, you're the strongest little girl I know! Ova, Makai, Filimone and Lautala all send their love.....

Much love Lauren...

--
Monica Fangupo

Dear Lauren,

You're one of the strongest most beautiful little girl I know:) I know we have yet to meet in person but my name is Klarah Motuliki but family and friends call me Lala. Your dad is my cousin and although we haven't been as close as I would have hoped to be, family is family regardless what right?!

I am sure you have heard this allot and it may start to sound like a recording at times but the strength that you, your parents, and your close family and friends show really affect the lives of others in a positive way. From the stories I hear about you I feel like I already know you. I know you have more strength and faith then I have during my hard times in life. I hope to raise my kids to have just as much strength and faith as you in there times of need.

I have been going over this letter numerous times cause I really wanted to let you know how much you have impacted my life in a positive way. I am so grateful to have a chance to write you and let you know. Our Heavenly Father gives each of us trials in our lives not to see how many we can over come but to see how we choose to over come each trial and with faith no trial is impossible. Faith is exactly what I see from you:)

I love you and your family so much. Although I may not see you guys or talk to you guys much you guys are always in our prayers. Stay strong and soon you will see that your strength will help lift the spirits of those you come into contact with who are lacking it. When I have a bad day I think of you and how your trials don't get you down and then it helps me get through that day. I love you and I am sure we will meet one day soon.

I will leave you with a little quote that I love.

"He never promised to take away all of your pains, He only promised to give you the strength to carry your burdens."

Love yah,

Lala

Dearest Lauren,

I know you are wondering who is this lady? My name is Dianna and my husband Pulu and your mom are related. When we first heard of you being in the hospital, defeating all odds of making it out of surgery and reading the Face Book posts of your aunt, mom and other family members saying how strong you were and how you were such a trooper. My heart melted. I just want you to know how special you are and I don't even know you that well. I can tell how much of a beautiful girl inside and out you are by the way everyone who does know you so well talk so highly about you. I think that's an awesome trait to have. I hope that you are doing okay like your mom hopes as well. I know that everyone is given trials to overcome, and that your parents are probably wishing they could take this one from you. But I know that you know that our Heavenly Father never gives us anything he knows we cannot overcome. Be strong, and when you feel you cannot be strong anymore, lean on your Heavenly Father, your parents and the ones closest to you. I love you and I love your family. I want to thank you for being a great reminder to me of strength, positivity, and having the pure love of Christ. My most favorite scripture is one read to me by dad when I was a lil girl it's Alma 37:36-37 which reads:

36 Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.

37 Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.

Much Love,

Dianna, Pulu & Family

Dear Lauren,
Well... I made it back to Vegas. I snuck some more of your twix and snickers in my backpack for the flight. Hope you don't mind. I'll make Neo buy you some more. I'm really excited to hear about your special day. I'm sure you're exhausted today from all the hustle and bustle yesterday. I saw Grandma the night before I left and told her that you were going in to make your wish and her eyes lit up with so much excitement. So if you open your eyes today and see that crazy lady standing over you, she is probably waiting for details about your wish experience. I heard your Teti made good on his promise and took you to Toys R Us. How was it? Did you get your beads you told me about? Your Mama sent me a picture and there were so many toys in it, that I couldn't see if there were beads in there or not. Do you think you can save me some so I can make a bracelet? I really hope you had an awesome day. Get some rest today. Yesterday was probably overwhelming. Love you Rennie!

-Auntie Kiki

Hi sweet Lauren! You probably don't remember me because we've only seen each other a handful of times but I definitely remember you, you have that kind of impact on people, you stand out! I remember when you were a baby and your mom used to bring you to pick up Auntie Kiki from school and all the cool kids would run out just to see your beautiful face, you were popular your whole life, you were born to shine;) I want you to know that every time I pray I always keep you in it, you're always on my mind and I keep you in my heart as well. You are so strong and you just amaze me every day that you keep pushing, you are one of my heroes and I thank you for being such a wonderful example to my life! We are all blessed to know you. Stay strong sweet girl.

Ofa lahi atu,
Mila Tuiloma (you can call me auntie. Lol)

Dear Lauren,
You don't know who I am, but I know who you are. I've heard you're such a strong girl and have been through a lot at such a young age. I can't imagine what you've been going through but I know that our Heavenly Father has a plan for you no matter how hard it may be or seem right now. I wanted to write to you and let you know that there are a lot of people that think of you and your family through these hard times and we're all praying for your speedy recovery. I wanted to share this poem with you it always makes me feel better if I'm going through something and I hope it helps you get through these hard times also....
FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed

that during the low periods of my life,

when I was suffering from

anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,

you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during

the most trying periods of my life

there have only been one

set of footprints in the sand.

Why, when I needed you most,

you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints,

is when I carried you."

Mary Stevenson Much Love, Crystal Taufalele

Dear Lauren,

It's about 10 minutes to 8 am and you along with everyone else are still asleep. I've got 10 minutes before your A.M. meds are due, so I thought I would take that time to sit and blog. The past 2 days have been so awesome! I love seeing that smile of yours... I've missed it so much! You are doing so well. You've always been the caretaker, everyones little helper, and my right hand, so I hope that when you say you're okay that you're not just saying it to ease our minds. That's something you'd totally do.... Not want anyone to worry about you. I hope everyday that you continue to know how special, amazing, and loved you are! You always exceed my expectations of what one might be going through in your shoes. How you continue to persevere through it all allows me to be strong. The past few days have been great, I hope it only gets better! I love you so much!

-Mama

Dear Lauren,

I got in to Salt Lake this morning and can't tell you how happy I am to see your sweet face. I can't stop staring at your eyes. It's been so long since I've seen them open. When I saw you, the first thing you asked was where the boys were. They miss you so much and can't wait for this week to end so that they can come out here and be with you.

Today you were so proud to show me all your goods from Uncle Doug and Auntie Trina. Me, Neo, and your Mama were surprised that you wanted to put on your makeup (cause Sten's usually the fie lei lei one). But Neo got you all pretty and you loved it! I asked if I could take a picture of you and you agreed. When I showed it to you I said, "You look so pretty huh?!" ... and you nodded your head yes in agreement :)

I was very surprised and happy to see you interact so much with your visitors today. You talked a lot to McKenna and Uncle Doug. I couldn't help but smile every time your strawberry lip gloss covered lips would talk. I hope you had a good day today. From the looks of it I would say you did. Goodnight Ren.

Love you so much,

Auntie Kiki

I Love You!

Dear Lauren,

I've been meaning to blog, but things as you know have been a little hectic around here. Leaving the hospital was bittersweet for me. I love the fact that you're home, but at the same time i'm scared. I don't feel like I can fully give you the care that you deserve. I am doing the absolute best I can, but I long for the knowledge that the nurses have so that I can give you everything you need. Your dad and I along with your many aunts, uncles and grandparents are working around the clock to make your transition an easy one. So far so good!

I Love you! I don't think I tell you enough.... Although you may beg to differ because I tend to tell you every 10 minutes. I asked you this morning if you knew that I loved you, and you nodded yes. I find comfort in my heart knowing that YOU know that. You are my little princess, my friend, my hero, my everything! I LOVE YOU!

-Mama

Dear Lauren,
my heart is so heavy right now. I wonder if you know how wonderful you are. We love you more than words can ever describe. You are so special to us. I am grateful for all the memories I share with you. I have never met anyone with so much strength and fight in them. I don't know exactly why things happen the way they do, but I do know that the Lord has a plan bigger than the natural eye can see. Bigger than our minds can comprehend. I pray that you have peace in your heart. I pray that you know that our family is forever and that one day we will all be together with Heavenly Father. I love you Rennie. I hope that you know that. I love you so much. I have vivid memories of you as a baby and many more of you growing up. You gave us 12 years of absolute joy. And with faith, I look forward to creating many more with you once again. I love you Rennie. I love you

Dear Lauren,
I heard you're moving to the 3rd floor tomorrow!!! How exciting!!! I'm so glad you're doing well! I can't wait to come and visit with you! The boys are so excited that they get to see you now. I can't wait to hear your voice. Your Mama told me that Neo got you 'Tangled'. I think we should have another sleep over up there and watch it together. Hope you have a fabulous day today!

Love you always,
Auntie Kiki :)

Dear Lauren,
there are a lot of songs that now remind me of you. Thanks to Carissa everytime I hear a Taylor Swift song I'm reminded of you. Bruno Mars' "Somewhere in Brooklyn" reminds me of you too. And your Mama played Maroon 5's pandora station while we sat in your hospital room so now their song "Won't Go Home Without You" and John Mayer's "Gravity" remind me of you.

Today on my drive home from picking up the boys from school we were listening to the iPod and I think your playlist could use a little sprucing up. 702 Fangupo style ;)
We love us some BTR

and some Mindless Behavior

Next time we come out I'll tell the boys to sing and dance for you. Nic thinks his "side jerk" is pretty cool.

Hope you're doing good!

Love you!
-Auntie Kiki

Dear Lauren,
I heard this song today on a friend's blog and it reminded me of you and your Mama. I hope you're doing good today!

Love you always,
Auntie Kiki

Dear Lauren,
We got back to Vegas this morning. I miss you so much. Last night before we left we were all at grandma's house looking through old pictures.This is my desktop background. Look at how much you shine here. I know I want everyone to think you look like me ;) ... but you totally look like your cousin Orange in here don't you think? I love this pic. Do you remember when we took this trip out to California for Kaea's wedding? We had so much fun! Today, like any other day, I'm thinking of you. I hope you feel a little better today.

Love you!!
-Auntie Kiki