Saturday, May 21, 2011

Dear Lauren,

This morning as scheduled, I woke up to give you meds. I found that the nightmare I had last night was not a dream. I didn't know what to do with myself as I sat in your room looking at your stuffed animals, your blankets, your Little Mermaid snow globe, and your clothes. As I touched some of your belongings with tears in my eyes and pain in my heart I decided that a walk would do me some good. When I got to the trail, I was surprised to see that there was not a single person there. I wonder if you knew that I needed some alone time to reflect and gather myself together and that you had something to do with that. I felt peace as I walked with mellow music going through the headphones. If there was ever a moment I wanted to start crying, a happy memory of you would fill my mind and put a smile on my face. I know that in actuality, you were there with me. The last song to play while on my walk was Selena's "Dreaming Of You"....

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

Thanks for continuing to take care of me, my love!

Mama

2 comments:

pwincessdi said...

OMG Priscilla, this is by far the saddest post I've read in a while. :'( I'm so sorry for your loss, and I know you are comforted with friends and family by your side. But I know you feel a deep void with Lauren being gone. Find comfort in knowing she is with our Heavenly Father and that she is waiting to be reunited with u all. How nice will that be, it makes death that much more meaningful. Our love goes out to you and your family!!

The Outhier 'Ohana said...

Oh, Sila. All I could say is how much I love you, your family and Lauren. What a wonderful princess you have as a daughter. You are such a wonderful mother. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here for us. We're all here for you. 'Ofa lahi atu forever cuz...
Ka'ea and the family.