Dear Lauren,

Just winding down from work. I spoke to a customer who was calling in about her daughter's phone. Guess what her name was, yep, Lauren. The funny thing is she pronounced it the same way I do. I asked her if her daughter's name was Lauren, and she said yes. I've never, ever heard anyone say it like me. I told her I love that name, she probably thought I was weird. Didn't tell her why, because I didn't want to cry. Its been really hard for me not having you here. Every day is a struggle, so many things remind me of you. The littlest things trigger so many memories, its hard because you've always been such a simple girl to please. You were always so grateful with whatever I gave you. And I appreciated it. I love you soooo much! I don't know if you knew that, I hope you did and still do. I miss our talks together when you came over. I miss doing your toe nails, and you helping me with dinner. I MISS YOU!! I know your in a better place. No more pain, no more struggling. Thank you for letting me be apart of your life. Thank you for all the wonderful memories. Thank you for all the lessons you've taught me. I am so happy and honored to have been one of your Aunties. My life has been so blessed because of you. I love you, Lauren!

Love Always and Forever,
Aunty Lini

Dear Lauren,

Do you ever hear me calling?
Cause every night
I'm talking to the moon
Still trying to get to you
In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too

L♥ve,
Auntie Kiki

Dear Lauren,

Lots has happened since the last time I wrote.... I don't know if I ever got to tell you that you were going to participate in your 6th grade promotion. I know you really wanted to be apart of that special occasion. The night before the big day, I decided that I would go but woke up the next morning, and it was just too painful. A week later your BFF, sweet Aloma got the privilege of promoting from Elementary school to Jr high. I wasn't sure how I would feel about going, but I knew you wouldn't be happy if I didn't. I cried a lot the night before. I cried for you, me, your dad, your aunts and uncles, and your grandparents.... You almost made it, my love! How I would've given anything to see you with your classmates again.

It's Fathers day and also our wedding anniversary. I woke up early to make your dad breakfast, but first decided to write and tell you how much we miss and love you! Today should be double filled with love, and it is, but things just aren't the same. Honestly Ren, I've been so distraught over not being able to see your face every day. I don't know why, but everyday life seems just a little harder and harder for me these days. I miss you oh so much!!!!! I hope you continue to know that we love you with all our hearts and we can't wait till we are together again... One sweet day! LOVE you forever and ever, Princess!

Mama

Dear Lauren,

Been thinking a lot about you. It's hard to balance out these emotions every time I think about your pretty face. I'm happy you're taken care of and that you're no longer in pain, but I miss you so much Ren. I guess that's the thing about being human. We're not very patient. I think about you all the time. There's so many memories of you that warm my heart. The other day I remembered a trip I took out to Salt Lake. We were sitting around doing a whole lot of nothing and your Mama decided that we should get some jumpers. So we got up, got some jumpers, and headed to the park. Whenever I come out to Salt Lake, and we get together as a family, I find myself sitting back and just observing. It makes me so happy just to see every one's smiles. I've blogged about how rich our family is with the love that we share. I remember that day at the park, just watching the smiles and excitement that all the kids had in their faces. I loved it. We watched for a little, then Fatu decided that we should break up into teams and race on the obstacle course. We tried to pair everyone up with people who were of equal physical talent. I got paired with you. Not gonna lie Ren, I was a little offended cause we all know you have 2 left feet :) To my surprise you beat me on the first round. I couldn't believe it and as I waited my turn for round 2 I was sure that I would come out victorious. My adrenaline was pumping and I was ready. Round 2 came, and you beat me again. Sheesh! We had to wrap up early cause it started to rain, but we had so much fun. I'll never forget that Ren, and I'm sure when I see you again, you will remind me that auntie lost to her niece.

I cannot explain how grateful I am to have these memories of you. I feel blessed beyond words to have gotten time granted in this life to spend with you. Thank you for loving me Ren. Thank you for such sweet memories.
Love you always,
Auntie Kiki

Dear Lauren,

Just got back from the trail and everyone was still asleep... I woke up your dad and he immediately starts to go on about his dream. He dreamt he was at the store and you were there. You walked beside him. His voice started to quiver as he told me how in the dream you were annoyed because he was hugging you so tight.... That used to happen all the time remember? I can still see the look on your face and the way your voice sounded as you tried to push him away because he would not let up on the hugs and kisses :) I loved those moments you had together. He said he didn't want to wake up.... As I sat there crying and listening to him talk about how beautiful you looked in the dream, I couldn't help but wonder if you truly understood your dads love for you. How no matter the situation, he was willing to go through anything or work countless hours to make sure you were taken care of. How privileged are we to have had the opportunity to be your parents. We are so grateful to have loved, cared, talked, kissed, and hug you. You are forever in our hearts. I miss you, and I will love you for eternity!

Mama

Dear Lauren,

I know it's been a little while.... It's been hard to say the least. Today marks 2 weeks. It feels like forever! I've been trying to keep busy lately, trying to get my mind off things.... I just keep telling myself that you're away for a little while, but i'll see you again. I know this statement is true. It gives me joy!

I took Stennie to the Dr's office the other day and the Dr asked how you were doing. I looked at him and said "Oh, you don't know..." and tears started to roll down my face. Stennie didn't cry at all, instead she hugged me, patted my leg and asked if I was okay. There are no amount of words that can describe how much I miss you. You are so special! You've touched not only mine, but so many others lives in your short time here with us. A new friend was so touched by your sweet spirit that they wanted to do something special for us. We got to see Bruno Mars. I know you would've loved it, and yes he is just as good live! He sang your song at the very end. I hoped he would. It meant so much to me.

I wonder if we'll ever meet again....

I hope we do..... Somewhere in Brooklyn

I love and miss you always!

Mama