Dear Lauren,
so many songs trigger memories of you. I can't believe how in love I am with Bruno Mars. It doesn't matter what he's singing about. His voice alone reminds me so much of you. I was listening to his station on Pandora today and I heard this song

It evoked an emotion in me. I'm not quite sure how to explain what I felt. I don't think it was hapiness, but maybe a feeling of comfort. I know you're looking down on us Ren.

Mei Mei put these stickers together for you.

I hope you like it. We miss you so much.
Love you always,
-Auntie Kiki, Auntie Neo, Leo, Mei Mei, Nici, Siope & Mote Goose

Dear Lauren,

I miss and love you so much!!! I can't quite explain the way I feel... I am happy to know you're in a much better place, but the separation is almost unbearable. I'm so lost without you. I miss going for drives and hearing you sing in the car. You have such an awesome voice! I remember taking the long way home just to hear your little scratchy voice sing one more song. Oh how I'd give anything to hear you sing for me again... Even if it's in my dreams. Will you visit me in my dreams? I hope so... Love, love, love you!!!!

Mama

Dear Lauren,
They say it gets easier with each passing day, but at this point It's so hard to believe in that statement. I know you're in a far better place, but Ren, as selfish as it sounds, I need you! I can't stop thinkin about you and the way things were just a few days ago. Remember the day you finally got to swim when we were in Florida? I couldn't stop staring at you and was in awe at the sheer delight on your face as you dunked your head under the water.That memory will fill my heart with joy forever!

Today while Stennie and I were running around she said "Mama, I wish I was a ghost whisperer".... She misses you so much. I can tell that she's trying really hard to make you happy by helping me out more then ever. I know she knows how much you care about her, as do I, my sweet girl. Miss and love you, dearly.

Mama

Dear Lauren,

Do you know how much I love you? Does it ever get easier? I miss you!!! I still feel you when I see your ice cream in the freezer, your shoes in the closet, your luggage from Florida overflowing with your cute little sun dresses, your mickey ears, your piles and piles of treasures yet to be open that you acquired while on your shopping spree to Toys R Us with your dad, your initial necklace from Auntie Kae'a, your bracelets being worn by your dad and Stennie, my black pearl necklace that you loved so much, any shade of purple, or hearing Bruno Mars. I long to hold your hand, kiss your face, brush your hair, and hear your voice.... Just one more time. I hope that after all is said and done, you know that I will love you forever and ever, my sweet princess!

Mama

Dear Lauren,

This morning as scheduled, I woke up to give you meds. I found that the nightmare I had last night was not a dream. I didn't know what to do with myself as I sat in your room looking at your stuffed animals, your blankets, your Little Mermaid snow globe, and your clothes. As I touched some of your belongings with tears in my eyes and pain in my heart I decided that a walk would do me some good. When I got to the trail, I was surprised to see that there was not a single person there. I wonder if you knew that I needed some alone time to reflect and gather myself together and that you had something to do with that. I felt peace as I walked with mellow music going through the headphones. If there was ever a moment I wanted to start crying, a happy memory of you would fill my mind and put a smile on my face. I know that in actuality, you were there with me. The last song to play while on my walk was Selena's "Dreaming Of You"....

Late at night when all the world is sleeping

I stay up and think of you

And I wish on a star

That somewhere you are thinking of me too

Thanks for continuing to take care of me, my love!

Mama

Dear Lauren,
I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about you. Your pretty face. Your shy stance. Your thick black hair. Your beautiful eyes. You. I miss your hugs Rennie. I miss your smile. I miss your voice. I miss you. I know you miss us too, but I know you're happy. I find peace in that. We're going to be ok Rennie. I promise. We'll all help your Mama, Teti and your brothers and sister. You just watch down on us and everything will be ok. Thank you for waiting until we got here. Your strength and bravery has always amazed me. I love you Rennie. I know that you know that. I love you ALWAYS.

-Auntie Kiki

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Dear Lauren,
I really wish I could've been in Utah yesterday to hang out with you at McDonald's. I want to start off by saying that your school ROCKS!!! Your principal and the rest of the Taylorsville Tigers are awesome! As soon as I woke up yesterday I started to see a lot of people spreading the word about your McDonald's fundraiser. And as the day progressed the buzz grew louder and louder. Our family received text messages, phone calls, tweets, and facebook updates about how people were so excited to show their support for you. I hope you were able to connect some of the faces to the names of people who have been writing you. You are LOVED Lauren! Keep fighting Rennie and know that all these people are rooting you on. Neo sent me some pics that she took from McDonald's last night...
Your community rocks, your family & friends rock, and you rock!!
Love you!

-Auntie Kiki